Funny Birthday Wishes

Birthdays are a special time. We as a whole have them. A few of us anticipate them, a few of us don't. For a few, it's an indication of how old we are getting, however in the event that we take a gander at the brighter side of the coin we can consider it to be a festival: a period to hang out with family and friends, and simply chill. How about we look on the splendid side and see the numerous ways that we can wish somebody a Happy Birthday. Make it fun and energizing. Something special. Something nobody else would do. Here are some useful tips for various messages. 

"On your birthday, a few wise words: smile while you still have teeth. Happy Birthday!"

"You realize you are getting older when the candles on your cake are more expensive than the cake itself."

"In the hallway? In the bathroom? On the kitchen table? In front of the chimney? At 40, it is truly remarkable to remember when you left your car keys. Happy Birthday!"

"What a great presence! What a remarkable intelligence! What charm, and what beautiful eyes! But, enough about me. Happy Birthday!"

"I promise not to tell anyone how old you are this year. Since we grew up together, doing that would give away my age, too."

"Happy birthday. Don't be sad you're a year older. Keep your chin up…if you can! Well, you know what I mean."

"If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them! Happy birthday!"

"Happy birthday. At our age, the only way to look younger is to add at least a decade to your age."

"Happy birthday. At your age, you should really try to see everything as larger than life…starting with LARGE print."

"Happy birthday! At our age, I don't know why people expect us to remember their birthdays. On a good day, we're lucky if we even remember where our car keys are!" 

"Happy birthday! Considering all the candles on your cake, I hope you remembered to top up your fire insurance."

"Happy birthday! Don't count the candles on your cake or the wrinkles on your face. Just be glad that you're not down for the count."

"Happy birthday! At this point in your life, you should really think of making a new start. You should really start lying about your age."

"Happy birthday! You've finally reached the age of wisdom but nobody wants to listen to you."

"You look different. Did you lose some weight? Did you change your hairstyle? Did you get a haircut? There is something different about you. Oh, I know. You are one year older!"

"For your birthday, I have been thinking of something grandiose, superb, and impressing. But anyway, I do not cost anything to think, right?"

"I would wish you, “May all your dreams come true,” but I am afraid that, if they do come true, I will have nothing to wish you next year."

"Like good wine, you get better with the years."

"I have been looking everywhere for a decent gift, but I found nothing suitable for someone as special as you, so accept a good thought and my best wishes, accompanied by a sincere “Happy Birthday!”

"Stop having so many birthdays! Seriously, each year it gets more difficult to find you a gift."

"When I think of the word youth, I think of you. That’s because the word “you” is contained in the word “youth.”  I hope you are feeling youthful on your birthday."

"No one holds a candle to you on your birthday. That’s because you're probably already hot from all the candles on your cake."

I've decided to switch my vote from the (Republican/Democratic) party to your birthday party.

"Who ever decided to celebrate birthdays must have been young."

"Old is in the eye of the beholder."  That's why it's getting difficult to read."

"Shouldn't you get your mom something on your birthday? It's your birthday, but it's her Mother's day!"

"Don't let anyone tell you that you are old, especially if you can hear them say it without having to read lips."

"If it's your birthday, then you better dress for the occasion. Wear your birthday suit. Just kidding, your suit is probably too wrinkled."

"Isn't it funny how you end your life like the way you came out? You're wrinkled, cold, and weak. Here's to many more birthdays!"

"Just think. Pretty soon you'll be able to use the bathroom in your diaper again. That was the good life. Happy Birthday! You're one year closer."

"Adding a candle on your cake today means your doctor will probably be adding another pill to your daily regimen of medicine."

"Having a personal crisis or wondering about your life purpose is normal on your birthday. So you get to be normal for one day out of the year."

"There’s a correlation between aging and being dishonest about your age. So, on a scale of 1-100, how many years dishonest are you?"

"In some cultures, age is a sign of distinction that demands respect. Tell me. How many years of respect do I owe you?"

"I understand if you don’t want to tell me your true age. However, I have a math problem for you to help me with. If I’m __ years old now, how old will you be when I turn 100 years old?"

"If you’re wondering what to wear for your birthday, don’t forget that you can wear your birthday suit. Don't forget to iron it though. It gets more wrinkled each year."

"Since your mother worked extremely hard on your birthday to birth you, shouldn’t she be the one getting the presents, cake, and party?"

"According to the government, your birthday is a very important day. It’s the day you become a citizen."

"Did you know that there are some really cool, smart, and important people born on your birthday? Unfortunately, it turns out that you are not one of those people."

"Just think, if we hatched out of eggs like birds instead of being born, we’d have to tell people “Happy Hatch Day!” instead of Happy Birthday."

"I usually try to give people a birthday card that matches their age. Unfortunately, they were all out of the stone tablet and ancient papyrus greeting cards. I guess this more modern version will have to do."

"I don’t understand why people get so bent out of shape over birthdays. If you think about it, it’s the other 364 days of the year that make people so old."

"Hey if you think about it, 'over the hill' is not such a bad thing. After all, going downhill is a lot easier and more fun. Think of life as a roller coaster. Happy birthday."

"There’s one main thing that makes people stop enjoying their own birthdays. That’s the day they realize that they will die some day. For that reason, I’m not going to bring up the fact that you aren’t getting any younger this year. I’ll just wish you a happy birthday."


Funny Birthday Card Messages

1. Friend are friends forever, which is how long it took this card to get to you.

2. The message never changes, but the words do. H-BDAY! HF! That’s happy birthday, have fun in text-ese.

3. Old friends are sweeter with age. Old fish, like old birthday wishes, stink. Hope it was great.

4. I can’t tell you all the times I thought about your birthday. That’s because I can’t remember squat. Happy late birthday.

5. Sorry these birthday greetings are time -challenged. They’re from me.

6. Here’s the message I should have sent. I hope your birthday was wonderful. Wonderful is exactly what you deserve.

7. Of all the gin joints in the world, I can’t remember where I left your card. Happy late birthday.

8. I was thinking about sending this card and…I fell asleep. Happy belated.

9. Sometimes my forgetter works better than my rememberer. Happy late birthday.

10. I bought you a card but my mouth was too dry to lick the stamp. So I wetted it. A lot. Did you know no post offices are open at 2 am?

11. I don’t know how your birthday escaped me. I hope it was everything you wished.

12. Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about you. Very lately. Happy belated birthday.

13. My pen ran out of ink, my mind was out of “think.” Happy late birthday.

14. I didn’t miss your birthday. I am just fashionably late as always.


15. Could you have read my birthday message if I had send it right on time? But now I’m pretty sure you have. Happy Birthday!

16. I only realized your birthday had passed when the male dancers I hired showed up in Depends. Happy day, girlfriend.

17. Good news! I escaped the mudslide, but your poor card…

18. The gang wanted me to send their birthday wishes. The gang should have sent the card.

19. I have been a bit snowed under lately. I dug out to find this card with your name. Happy late birthday.

20. Your face floated before me the other day. I wish you’d said something about your birthday. Hope it was fun.

21. This greeting is either very late or extremely early. Either way, Happy birthday.

22. If wishes were horses, mine would have come in dead last. Happy late birthday.

23. Tardy to school, tardy to work… some things never change. Happy late birthday.

24. I spent the whole time thinking about what I should text you for your birthday wish… until I ran out of time.

25. If you had delayed a day or two before you were born, this could have been your first birthday message. Happy Birthday!

26. I intentionally sent my birthday wish this late, just to prove how you are always special to people like me… but not on selected days of the year like some people think.

27. The greeting may be stale, but the sentiments are fresh. Happy belated birthday.

28. Birthday messages never go out of style. The stamps, however…sorry this is so late.

29. My life is a little crazy lately, but thinking of you clears things up. I hope you had a wonderful birthday.

30. I’m late. The last time I used those words, I ended up with a baby. This time, I “got nothing.” : ) Happy late birthday.